hey there, thanks for coming!

today we're going to reflect on who we are and how we got here.

I want you to get something to write on and something to write with. Please don’t just get out your phone. It’s important that you write with your hand.


Adjectives are words that describe. I want you to pick ten adjectives that describe who you are, according to how you think of yourself. They must have both positive and negative connotations. Don’t just choose all positive or all negative connotations. Be HONEST. These ten adjectives are who you are.



Now look at what you wrote. Reflect.



Look at the ratio of positive to negative words. Which group is bigger? Did you do half and half?


If you have a bigger ratio of negative to positive, why is that? Why would you say you have more negative words than positive ones? Do you really think you deserve mostly negative words to describe yourself? Reflect.


If you have a bigger ratio of positive to negative, why is that? Do you think you’re nearly perfect? Or do you think the good outweighs the bad in your personality? Reflect.


If you have a perfectly even ratio, is it because you felt you needed one negative adjective for every positive one? Do you feel as though your personality has a perfectly balanced duality? Reflect.






Where in the world did these words come from? What compelled you to choose these words in particular? This is where the root of yourself lies.






Look at each adjective you chose. For each word, please write a specific incident in your life where you exhibited this trait. Do this for each of the ten words you chose, both good and bad connotations.





Are you able to recall instances where you exhibited each trait? If you aren’t, then why did you choose that word to describe yourself? Is it because you chose some of these adjectives because it’s what you’ve been told about yourself? Did the people around you place these adjectives in your head, or did they really all come from yourself?








Remember, we’re all supposed to have negative qualities. If we were all perfect there would be no humanity, just robots. Are you owning your negative qualities, or are they just there as placeholders? Are you embarrassed or ashamed of the negative words you chose?








Look at the positive and negative as groups. Do the negative traits hinder the positive ones? Do the positive traits cause the negative ones? For example, if you’re both confident and ignorant, is it because your confidence makes you blind? If you’re intelligent and conceited, is it because you feel superior because of your intelligence? Make connections between the good and bad. This is where your identity lies. Reflect.




If you are starting to feel like these words aren’t you, it’s probably because you chose words that you’ve heard about yourself rather than words that you know you are.

Start over. This time, choose adjectives based on what you know is true about yourself through your own actions. Not what people have said about you, not what you think is right about yourself. Pick words that are true to you.








Use this practice as a way to remind yourself of all the influences around you that can cause your identity to become detached from yourself. You are the only person who can make the decision of which adjectives appear on this page. You are the judge of yourself; not your parents, not your friends, not your authorities. You. Don’t ever let other people try to form your identity, regardless of who they are. Remember that you are entitled to your own self.